30 thoughts on “The Highly Sensitive Person: A breakdown”
Good post but I would disagree with sentimentality. Personally, I think my sensitivity has to do with these nuances in my feelings, experiences and thoughts that seem to separate me from others. And that can be expressed as sentimentality for things others don’t appreciate.
Thanks for being open to opinion. Can’t wait to see you elaborate on your viewpoint! If you post your thoughts on sentimentality, please leave a comment on my blog so I don’t miss it and can respond 🙂
By sentimentality, I think they mean inauthentic emotional display. Think of a combination of emotional manipulation and social conformism. A typical high school pep rally is a good example. People are always showing emotions for the sake of showing group conformity and I don’t have time for that.
You’re right, Lani. Sentimentality is used, I think, as a way to manipulate people and force them to conform. At least it can be used that way and when it is I don’t have time or the stomach for it either.
I knew putting “sentimentality” on the list would be controversial. Again, I’m going to clarify in a future post what I was thinking when I wrote I have a low tolerance for sentimentality.
Thanks – looking forward to your thoughts – I’m so new to the whole HSP concept – it seems to explain so much of my life. When I saw “sentimentality” on the list, I thought if that was true, then maybe I’m not HSP because I feel I am so often sentimental to my way of thinking. But I can tell we are thinking different things and I’m interested to know more….
Every item in each column rings super-true for me. I think of sentimentality as being on par with melodrama – forced emotion and over-the-top histrionics – as opposed to genuinely deep feelings that have a more private patina, or the soul stirring recognition of irreconcilable conflicts inherent in the human condition….
Yes! I think sentimentality is like a cheaper way to express how one feels. I enjoy exploring the”irreconcilable conflicts inherent in the human condition” as you perfectly put it. I like the way you write.
Thank you for this post. The spiral is turning for me again, after “discovering” the trait 12 years ago, regarding my sensitivity and my desire to see it as a gift and not a curse and I find this post helpful. I agree with the sentimentality for myself. To me, I experience sentimentality as a safe skimming of the surface reaction to something that is most often layered and complex. “Remember when we stopped and smelled the roses and everything was perfect?” said my sentimental friend. Me: “Yes, and they smelled divine and the colors were glorious and I loved that we shared that moment and there were pesticides on them and I got sick later.”
“I experience sentimentality as a safe skimming of the surface reaction to something that is most often layered and complex” — this is exactly my definition of sentimentality. Well, part of it. I may use it in a future post.
I’m so happy this list helped you. That’s why I do it.
I would also disagree with the having low tolerance for true sentimentality. Though I think the kind of sentimentality you’re referring to differs from my idea of “sentimentality,” so I would love to hear you explain your definition of the word in another post 🙂
Hi there! Ever since I realized I was a HSP a few months ago, my life and my choices finally made sense. I’m now in the process of acknowledging and staying true to my feelings after having suppressed them for so long. Thank you so much for writing on this topic. Love your blog!
This list is the story of my life. I interpreted ‘sentimentality’ as all the melodrama around me. I have always been uncomfortable with all the superficial emotional drama that I see in my extended family and in the corporate world. I look forward to your interpretation of it.
Thank you and I’m glad the list was helpful to you. I wrote the post on sentimentality (I can’t stand superficial emotional drama either) and you can find it here
Yes, sentimentality is a tricky one. I am very sentimental, but I also find some people’s sentimentality cloying. If that makes any sense? I think I agree with the others – but they were interesting choices, and not what I personally would have as top of my list! But I like diversity, so all good!
Hi Brett — If I re-did the list I would add “people who dismiss my feelngs” as something I have a low tolerance for. And being really understood is so rare and so sweet. Good ideas. You should write another list. MM
SENSITIVE NEW WORLD 
Good post but I would disagree with sentimentality. Personally, I think my sensitivity has to do with these nuances in my feelings, experiences and thoughts that seem to separate me from others. And that can be expressed as sentimentality for things others don’t appreciate.
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I respect that. Someone else who read the list agreed with you. I’m probably going to write more about my thoughts on sentimentality.
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Thanks for being open to opinion. Can’t wait to see you elaborate on your viewpoint! If you post your thoughts on sentimentality, please leave a comment on my blog so I don’t miss it and can respond 🙂
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Will do.
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I agree about the sentimentality one. I’m ok with that trait.
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I’m glad I’m not alone on that one.
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By sentimentality, I think they mean inauthentic emotional display. Think of a combination of emotional manipulation and social conformism. A typical high school pep rally is a good example. People are always showing emotions for the sake of showing group conformity and I don’t have time for that.
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You’re right, Lani. Sentimentality is used, I think, as a way to manipulate people and force them to conform. At least it can be used that way and when it is I don’t have time or the stomach for it either.
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Yes – except sentimentality in the way that I think of sentiment…. agree with Jay’s comment…
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I knew putting “sentimentality” on the list would be controversial. Again, I’m going to clarify in a future post what I was thinking when I wrote I have a low tolerance for sentimentality.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks – looking forward to your thoughts – I’m so new to the whole HSP concept – it seems to explain so much of my life. When I saw “sentimentality” on the list, I thought if that was true, then maybe I’m not HSP because I feel I am so often sentimental to my way of thinking. But I can tell we are thinking different things and I’m interested to know more….
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I ‘m glad I have an opportunity to expand on it. You may end up agreeing with me…
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Every item in each column rings super-true for me. I think of sentimentality as being on par with melodrama – forced emotion and over-the-top histrionics – as opposed to genuinely deep feelings that have a more private patina, or the soul stirring recognition of irreconcilable conflicts inherent in the human condition….
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Yes! I think sentimentality is like a cheaper way to express how one feels. I enjoy exploring the”irreconcilable conflicts inherent in the human condition” as you perfectly put it. I like the way you write.
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Me too..
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Thank you for this post. The spiral is turning for me again, after “discovering” the trait 12 years ago, regarding my sensitivity and my desire to see it as a gift and not a curse and I find this post helpful. I agree with the sentimentality for myself. To me, I experience sentimentality as a safe skimming of the surface reaction to something that is most often layered and complex. “Remember when we stopped and smelled the roses and everything was perfect?” said my sentimental friend. Me: “Yes, and they smelled divine and the colors were glorious and I loved that we shared that moment and there were pesticides on them and I got sick later.”
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“I experience sentimentality as a safe skimming of the surface reaction to something that is most often layered and complex” — this is exactly my definition of sentimentality. Well, part of it. I may use it in a future post.
I’m so happy this list helped you. That’s why I do it.
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I would also disagree with the having low tolerance for true sentimentality. Though I think the kind of sentimentality you’re referring to differs from my idea of “sentimentality,” so I would love to hear you explain your definition of the word in another post 🙂
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You can read my explanation on Sunday.
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Hi there! Ever since I realized I was a HSP a few months ago, my life and my choices finally made sense. I’m now in the process of acknowledging and staying true to my feelings after having suppressed them for so long. Thank you so much for writing on this topic. Love your blog!
This list is the story of my life. I interpreted ‘sentimentality’ as all the melodrama around me. I have always been uncomfortable with all the superficial emotional drama that I see in my extended family and in the corporate world. I look forward to your interpretation of it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you and I’m glad the list was helpful to you. I wrote the post on sentimentality (I can’t stand superficial emotional drama either) and you can find it here
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Yes, sentimentality is a tricky one. I am very sentimental, but I also find some people’s sentimentality cloying. If that makes any sense? I think I agree with the others – but they were interesting choices, and not what I personally would have as top of my list! But I like diversity, so all good!
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I’m glad I put sentimentality on the list. I love that it struck a nerve. What would you have put on top of your list?
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Awesome site, thanks for sharing !!
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Thanks!
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A big thing that I dislike as an HSP/INFJ is when my feelings are dismissed. I prefer talking with active listeners, not judges.
People who beg me to tell them what I think/feel only to interrupt and bring the conversation back to themselves wear me out.
As for things I can’t get enough of, I’d add a handful of people who really “get” me at a deep level, and love me anyway.
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Hi Brett — If I re-did the list I would add “people who dismiss my feelngs” as something I have a low tolerance for. And being really understood is so rare and so sweet. Good ideas. You should write another list. MM
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