I need help.
I’m going to assume if you’re reading this and you’re over the age of 20 and you’re a human being, you have seen every episode of Seinfeld 100 times.
If you haven’t, what’s wrong with you?
For those of you who have, remember the episode in which George thought he had a heart attack? The one where Jerry wrote down something he thought was funny in the middle of the night while sleeping that he saw in a movie he was watching before he fell asleep? Jerry then wakes up and reads what he wrote and it’s completely indecipherable so he asks everyone he meets what they think the note says. He finds out the line he wrote from the movie was “like flaming globes of Sigmund”. Not funny but his attempts to decode the nighttime scrawl were very funny.
During the night, I make it a habit to wake up after a dream and write down a few words about the dream so I can more easily recall the dream in the morning. (Why? I saw a writer do it in a movie. It’s called The Secret in Their Eyes. Check it out, it won an Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film.)
I try to write neatly even though I’m half asleep and it’s dark. I think I’m writing neatly. Except I’m not. This is what I wrote last night:
I know the quality of the photo is bad, but that doesn’t matter. Having the piece of paper in front of you wouldn’t help you make more sense of it. Let’s say there’s seven lines. I think the fourth line says “father is cruel” and then “beats family”. The sixth line looks like “spare me nice mossy”. The last line doesn’t even look like English.
I know it’s probably meaningless, but like Seinfeld, I’m obsessed with figuring out what I was trying to write.
1. What do you think I was trying to write?
2. Do you write down things in the middle of the night as well and if you do, how do you manage to write clearly without a light? (I’m not turning on a light.)
3. Do you think I need to get a life?