There’s a small part of me that hopes that high sensitivity isn’t real. Or, at the moments I am convinced it is I hope there’s some unknown cure for it. Like it turns out HSP are simply missing an enzyme and a few drops on the tongue of every morning wipes out all that thinking, processing and hyper awareness. I hope there’s an undiscovered plan we can follow that allows us to thrive in our own way, a protocol that allows us to always move forward no matter how overwhelmed we are.
After a month of physical and emotional upheaval, one hundred percent of me accepts that high sensitivity is real and can’t be fixed. It’s never going away.
In June, Ane Axford released a video titled “Meet Your Needs” in which she says, “You will never fix your sensitivity. You will always be sensitive. And any fix you get is momentary.” Those lines echoed in my mind for days after hearing them. Part of me didn’t want them to be true and part of me knew they were and that accepting it was the real fix.
Inspired by Axford, I posted this on Tumblr:
I added the “You’re fine” even though I didn’t completely believe it. I need it to be true and I suspect other HSP needed it as well. Someone re-blogged it and added “This is terrifying”.
I couldn’t agree with her more. Because something feels WRONG and it feels like the wrong thing is our sensitivity and I know that I want to stop feeling like something is always wrong.
But, Axford goes on to say in that video:
You may be experiencing some weakness or disorder or hypersensitivity that has developed in relation to not getting your needs met. Not because of your sensitivity.
The sensitivity is not the disorder. The sensitivity is the mechanism through which you’re interacting and experiencing the world, the volume at which you’re experiencing life.
The next questions are: what needs aren’t getting met and how do I meet them? “What do I need?” is probably the hardest question to answer. But it does have an answer. Knowing what the real problem is and that it can be fixed helps. Writing this has helped.