I don’t need help with feeling. It kind of happens on its own. And I like it that way. Even when I’m feeling awful, no one is feeling exactly as awful as I am in exactly the same way and for the same reasons as I am.
I am open to changing my mind, though. Nothing brings me more pleasure than having a closed mind, being sure, assuming I know, and being confronted with some new information. Or a new perspective. Or being flat-out wrong.
I love when I’m thinking thoughts, going around and around my mind, digging into a position and someone comes along with a new way of seeing, a perfect new atomic thought that blows my mind wide open. I love when someone smart, awake, and willing to share comes along and gets you closer to what’s true.
It’s easier and lazier to advise someone “Don’t feel “. This requires no further thinking.
It’s harder to see clearly in a world that wants us all to be blind, undisruptive, and meek. It’s harder to find new ways of operating.
It’s easier to say “Just be positive!”, “Just forgive!”, “Just be confident!”
Just. Just. Just. How? How? How?
Don’t tell me not to be judgmental. How do I see people clearly? Give me new eyes. Be my new eyes.
We need more Andrew W.K.s in the world, delivering the truth in a weekly column:
True confidence is a quiet and largely invisible state of inner conviction. You don’t need to outwardly prove your bravery to yourself or anyone else. When you’re genuinely confident, it’s a choice you perpetually make to be true to yourself, even when that truth is full of vulnerability and risk.
I’ll share that a hundred times. I don’t care.
We need more Ane Axfords offering new ways of thinking about sensitivity. She released a video titled “Meeting Your Needs” in which she walks us through discussing high sensitivity with the people in your life. The video is an hour and a half long but there are so many thought-provoking ideas in it that it’s worth listening to/watching:
Sensitivity is the mechanism through which you’re interacting and experiencing the world… the volume at which you experience life.
I will continue to share her ideas. I don’t care.
We need more Rebecca Solnits. Who would have thought you could think differently about the most human and most mundane of activities, walking? Well she did it. From her book Wanderlust:
Thinking is generally thought of as doing nothing in a production-oriented culture, and doing nothing is hard to do. It’s best done by disguising it as doing something, and the something closest to doing nothing is walking. Walking itself is the intentional act closest to the unwilled rhythms of the body, to breathing and the beating of the heart. It strikes a delicate balance between working and idling, being and doing. It is a bodily labor that produces nothing but thoughts, experiences, arrivals.
Walking, ideally, is a state in which the mind, the body, and the world are aligned, as though they were three characters finally in conversation together, three notes suddenly making a chord. Walking allows us to be in our bodies and in the world without being made busy by them. It leaves us free to think without being wholly lost in our thoughts.
Never thought about it that way, but true, right?
We need more thoughtful, curious people who have felt their way through life and can see and report what they see. Feelings will sort themselves out.