My post “I Hate Introverts. And Highly Sensitive People. And INFJs … (keep reading)” is the post that is the most viewed on most days. It is the post that is accessed the most through search engines. I think it has to do with the word “hate” and the words “sensitive”, “introvert’, and “INFJs”. Three groups that are not very popular.
Today someone found my blog (or more accurately, the post I mentioned above) by typing “I hate sensitive people”.
At first I felt insulted and sick and wished people who hated sensitive people could somehow be barred from my site. I felt responsible for it though since I wrote a post with an intentionally provocative title. But, the post is not about hating introverts, HSPs, or INFJs. It’s about hating the labels we put on each other and ourselves. Unfortunately, Google and other search engines don’t know that. Shame.
So people who hate introverts, HSP, INFJ find my site and hopefully leave bitterly disappointed.
After I was done being, ironically, sensitive about someone hating sensitive people, I started to wonder about that person, that hater.
What was their goal or motivation? What were they really searching for? What did they really want to know?
Let me put my empathy hat on. OK, done.
I Google everything, but have I ever Googled “I hate “? Nope.
OK. What or who do I hate? Hate’s a strong word. I use it a lot but I don’t always mean “hate”. Usually I mean “strongly dislike” or I think something is wrong, overrated, gross, or just plain crap.
I do hate John Mayer as I’ve defined “hate”. And Michael Bublè. I just think they’re really douchey. They both rub me the wrong way. I feel a rant starting. I’d better stop.
So, I hate…let’s use John Mayer. Would I ever Google “I hate John Mayer”? No. Why would I waste my time even typing his name? (Unless I’m trying to make a point.) If I hate something, I really, really, really don’t want to spend time thinking about it.
The only situation in which I could see myself Googling “I hate John Mayer” is if I wanted validation for my feelings. Or, I wanted to feel less alone in my hatred. (Hatred does make you feel alone, doesn’t it?) Or, I wanted to connect with other John Mayer haters.
I would Google “I hate John Mayer” because I wanted to feel understood.
Is that why this hater searched for “I hate sensitive people”?
Maybe they’ve been in situations where they’ve said or done something without ill-intentions, without looking to offend and ended up upsetting and offending someone. I can understand how frustrating that can be and how if you constantly have your words, actions and intentions misunderstood, you may see those people as being too sensitive and hate them for making you feel wrong all the time.
Maybe the hater is one of those HTFU (Harden The Fuck Up) people who think everyone should be tough and never let anything in or out. If you’re “hard”, sensitive people must suck.
Maybe the hater is just a jerk. A jerk who wants everyone to be OK with their jerkiness. Sensitive people are usually not OK with jerks and will let them know in some way (but never by calling them a jerk). Jerks usually hate being reminded that they’re jerks.
I believe the real reason people hate sensitive people is that they can’t handle their own emotions. Feelings and emotions scare them or are a foreign language to them and sensitive people remind them of their deficiency. Aren’t the haters of sensitive people really saying with their hate: “Your feelings, reactions, and lack of toughness BOTHER ME”? Doesn’t that mean they’re the sensitive ones?
Sensitive people respond/react to things that are happening. If someone motions to punch you in the face and you respond to that by turning your face, blocking the shot, ducking, or hitting them back, are you overreacting? Are you too sensitive?
The thing I love the most is that I’m trying to understand someone who hates people like me. Typical sensitive person. That hater would really hate this post.
Doesn’t this image sum up what’s probably going on inside that hater?:
I think he has a sad human being trapped inside who doesn’t like himself. Awww.
Whoever you are, I send you peace even though you hate my type.
P.S. Here’s the whole poster: