I watched The Big Lebowski for the first time a couple of days ago. It’s the funniest movie I’ve seen since…I can’t remember the last movie I watched that made me laugh out loud. I think it was The Dictator, which wasn’t good, but Sasha Baron Cohen did make me laugh. Anyway… I liked The Big Lebowski and I just happened to have the book partly inspired by the movie called The Dude and the Zen Master written by Jeff Bridges (“The Dude”) and Bernie Glassman (“The Zen Master”). In the book, Jeff Bridges tells a story about a “Master Bowler” who was hired to instruct Bridges, John Goodman and Steve Buscemi on how to bowl (please watch the movie if you don’t know what I’m talking about). This “Master Bowler” tells Bridges about a time he thought so much about bowling and how to perfect his bowling that when it was time to bowl in a tournament, he froze up and became all spazzy and couldn’t perform. Bridges asked him how he got over it and the “Master Bowler” said, “I just throw the fucking ball! I don’t think.”
Well, blogging is my bowling.
I had the notion to start a blog in January and I did nothing except think about it. I didn’t write a word. I finally settled on the name “Sensitive New World” a few weeks ago but I was still frozen and spazzy. Like the “Master Bowler”, I wanted to make sure it was well thought out, well written (in my head), perfectly inspired with a definite theme and direction even before I began typing.
I wanted to be certain.
But I realized when I read the story I related above that I would never be certain. And not being certain is what being sensitive is all about. I wanted to write about sensitivity and at the same time I was putting a lid on it by not being receptive to whatever showed up and just paying attention to it and responding to it.
I am a highly sensitive person and I’m ready to take the lid off of it and really use it. I don’t know how (uncertainty) but I do know that I’m ready to start (certainty).
Simone de Beauvoir said it best: “Sensitivity is nothing else but the presence which is attentive to the world and to itself.”
So that’s what I’m going to do — be uncertain, be attentive and just throw the fucking ball.
Next post — my Sensitive Manifesto.